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| 09:18pm 18/07/2005 |
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mood:  mellow music: "Cosmic Girl" Jamiroquai
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these surveys were actually fun to read so i'm doing them
i forget how to do lj cuts... so call me a hypocrite
thanks to jobeth/carly
- Enthusiastically celebrate Thanksgiving on a daily basis OR New Year's Eve on a daily basis?: Thanksgiving because it's all about appreciating how lucky we are, which many people do not do
- Be left at the altar OR have your spouse leave 1 month after the wedding?: Get left at the altar... then you wouldn't have to go through annulment shit
- For the rest of your life, choose the same drink and the same meal to ingest every time you eat OR have someone else always choose what you eat and drink?: have someone else choose, then they could change it up a bit
- Not eat for 3 days OR not sleep for 3 days?: not eat because then I'd lose weight (and yes, gain it right back, but it'd be exciting for those 3 days, haha)
- Be a 12-year-old still in the third grade who's liked by classmates and teachers OR a 12-year-old in college who's considered to be a freak? 12 year old in 3rd grade, you'd be an idol for the young kids. And they'd probably be kinda scared of you, which is funny.
- Live in a world without grass OR roads?: Roads, because nature is so pretty.
- Forget everyone else's name all the time OR have everyone forget your name all the time?: It would get so annoying to be like "my name is Tess my name is Tess"... and if you didn't know other people's names you could just not say their name :-P
- Always show up 20 minutes late for everything OR always show up 90 minutes early for everything?: I HATE being early, but if I was always late I'd get into serious trouble for some stuff... like my DRIVERS TEST. (oh, good one Tess)
- Have every driver but you be a "student driver" OR have every driver but you be at least 75 years old?: Student driver.. I'd never get a speeding ticket. And old people are the worst fucking drivers ever. They almost killed Sarah.
- Be accused of descriminating against someone because of gender OR age?: Age
- Have your spouse be dissapointed in you OR have your child be dissapointed in you?: Spouse, same reason as Carly
- At your spouse's work place publically call them fat lard OR Boo at your daughter during her piano recital?: Fat lard... same as Carly
- After death, choose to live the same life over again OR risk being born anywhere in the world in any circumstance?: A different life, because I think that I'm open minded and unjudgmental, so it'd be interesting to really live a different life. And also there are so many things I want to do in my life that I know I will never have the chance to do.
- Discover that your soul mate is someone other than the person you married and get to meet him or her OR marry someone you love but never meet your soul mate?: Get to meet your soulmate... you could just divorce your spouse. But then again I'm not sure I believe in soulmates, so who knows.
- Vote for an honest but stupid polititian OR vote for a liar with tremendous savvy?: Honesty is always the best policy ;-)
- Be offensive of incredibly passive?: Passive people piss the hell out of me.
- Marry a person who loves you but whom you will never love OR marry someone you love but who will never love you?: Both of those would be horrible. I guess the person I would never love.
- Have a 16-year-old daughter who stays in her room crying all day OR who stays out every night and you don't know where or with whom?: As a parent, definitely the girl in her room crying. But the poor 16 year old! it is so much more fun to be out having fun.
- Never have people take you seriously Or always have people think you are no fun?: People NEVER EVER take me seriously and believe me it sucks.
- Always speak in rhyme OR never hear every third word spoken to you?: Always speaking in rhyme, no contest. I would be the best fucking white woman rapper!
- Be exclusively ruled by the mind Or exclusively ruled by the heart?: mind, I'd do really good on standardized tests.
- Be incapible or love or honesty?: Love I guess, because the other one would get so confusing.
FIRSTS ..
First job: babysitting
First screen name: sneaker33044... sometimes i still get on it to look at my buddylist... pretty pathetic
First funeral: my fake Aunt Mary
First pet: a goldfish named Swimmy, after that amazing picture book titled Swimmy.
First piercing: ears
First tattoo: n/a
First credit card: n/a
First kiss: Gregory DeStephen in preschool... he moved away and i miss him, he is so obviously my soul mate
First enemy: this is a question which can only lead to drama
First favorite musical artist: MC Hammer... yes, Adam and I have always had the best music taste
LASTS ..
Last car ride: shopping today
Last kiss: not allowed to say.. classified ;-)
Last movie watched: Royal Wedding (dance movie of Fred Astaire and Jane Powell)
Last beverage drank: iced latte from dunkin donuts
Last food consumed: cookies which should've been good but were stale
Last phone call: Erin's cell phone but she didn't pick up
Last time showered: today around 1:30 I think
Last CD played: old school emo mix... if I was sad I would be such an emo kid.
Last website visited: livejournal.com/~tess03/friends
Single or Taken: sadly single </3 haha
Sex: yes please! HAH am I not the most original person ever.
Birthday: May 3
Sign: taurus
Siblings: older bro Adam
Hair color: brown
Eye color: blue/greenish
Shoe size: depends on the shoe and brand |
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| For you |
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| 03:00pm 15/05/2005 |
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mood:  bored music: "Lady Marmalade"
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You're Colombia!
You do a lot of drugs, and these have kind of distorted your view of
reality, to the point that everyone looks like an enemy. You keep trying to restore
order over your schizophrenic world view, but you don't even know which goal is your own
and which is someone else's. You're pretty sure someone needs to be punished for all
this, but who that is changes all the time. Things would be a lot better for you if
you switched to coffee, or even to decaf, but all this money would be hard to give up.
Take
the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid
That was for Sami G. cause she has a Colombian boyfriend. Who I'm going to meet. :) |
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| Oh my God |
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| 01:44pm 20/04/2005 |
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mood: content music: Sayyyy youuuu'll loove meee
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I took this quiz and made all my answers so I would definitely be Ariel because she's my favorite.
Then I took it again with my real answers and....
Which Disney Princess are you?
I think someday I'm going to get hair extensions and dye my hair bright red and ... put on a mermaid tail? Maybe not that far, but definitely the hair...
<3,
Tess |
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| can't resist. |
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| 04:40pm 15/03/2005 |
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mood:  happy music: The Rocket Summer "High Life"
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1. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandmother's/father's first name + favorite snack): Clara Chocolate
2. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (first word you see on your left + favorite restaurant): Door Applebees
3. YOUR SOCIALITE NAME: (silliest childhood nickname + first town where you partied): Tessie Oswego
4. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial + first three letters of your last name): T.Kor
5. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal + name of high school): Elephant Oswego
6. YOUR BARFLY NAME: (last snack food you ate + your favorite drink): Swiss Cake Roll Diet Coke
7. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name + street where you first lived): Clare No-Idea (i was a baby, I don't remember)
8. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (favorite candy + favorite musicians last name): Milky Way Detar
9. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME: (name of [opposite sex] friend + cell phone company you use): Bob Cingular
10. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name last 3 letters of mothers middle name /+/ first 3 letters of your pets name first 3 letters of the town you live in): Korann Apiosw
Thanks, Grace!
So much fun :) |
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| Vacuum! |
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| 06:32pm 22/02/2005 |
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mood:  thoughtful music: The Killers
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Livejournal is just one big vacuum! I updated for the first time since freakign AUGUST and now I have this huge urge to update. I never did one of those "pick ten people to write about" things, so here goes.
Try and guess suckaaaas!
1. We have been through so much shit together - especially these past few weeks. I know there are times when our opinions clash, but I never feel like I have to censor what I say, and that kind of friendship (I think) is the kind that lasts. We've had some firsts together (nothing sexual all you perverts get your heads out of the gutter) that I think we both kinda regret. But actually, I think we kind of needed it to happen you know? We were going insane. Possibly we still are, but at least now we know what's out there. And I'm glad that you've been there for me throughout ... everything ... and hopefully I have been there for you too.
[NOTE: Good God that took me forever to write. How can I do ten of these? Guess APUSH will not get done tonight haha]
2. Oh geez, you don't even read my livejournal (well really no one does since I don't update) but you definitely deserve a spot on here. I'm almost surprised we've stayed friends - after 11 years you'd think we'd get bored of each other. Thankfully we haven't and hanging out with you every weekend is always an adventure.
3. Why do I feel like you deserve a spot on here? I don't think I've ever hated someone so much one minute and been laughing at them the next. (Laughing at you because you're funny, not like, making fun of you.) Sometimes I start to feel bad for how things went that first time. But then I remember that that was the summer of 2002 and I've also apologized to you like seventy times. Sometimes I also feel like we were "meant to be" because you're so funny, but no offense, we're not.
4. I don't even know how to begin to describe you. You're not perfect - sometimes when you're in a bad mood you're a bitch (hey, we all are, me more than most) - but a lot of people treat you that way. And you deserve it, definitely. You deserve all the attention and shit. I guess I'm just jealous, because you are so nice. You're freaking gorgeous and smart and nice and funny, so who could ever hate you? No one, exactly. And I feel so guilty saying that I'm jealous, but I can't help it. I'm glad we're friends, hopefully some of your assets will be passed on to me ;)
5. Oh my, I think you're a better friend to me than I deserve. This entire year I have been SUCH a bitch, an UBER BITCH, but you never treat me like "shut up tess" or "stop being such a bitch tess" and that's cool. You also give me rides home from school all the time and I always feel bad, but you have the coolest car. And it's always fun riding with you. It's weird because with certain people I'm really silly, or really cynical, like extremes.. but you n me chillin is just fun :)
6. You make me so mad ALL THE TIME. But it's not really mad because you also make me laugh ALL THE TIME. You're such a pimp, but not really, cause you don't get any. You're just always hanging out with girls. Haha, oh man. Good times, good times. I wish you'd move on in one aspect of your life, for your own happiness, but it's okay, I know you love her n all that shit. I just hope things will work out between you two without anything bad happening.
7. You are a fucking douche. Oh my dear Lord. How could you play one of my closest friends that way. I was about to type "you don't even realize that you are" but that's the thing. YOU DO. YOU KNOW AND STILL YOU'RE ACTING THIS WAY. I have to end this here before I give something away. You just best watch out, because I will not hesitate to punch your face.
8. I don't even care about you, which is kind of weird. The whole situation was weird. It only spanned over about 10 days, and I knew from the beginning that it wasn't really what it seemed. Haha, I don't know what my parents think happened. I don't know what your parents think happened either, and that makes me sad because I liked your family. I hope they don't think I did something bad. YOU BETTER NOT HAVE LIED TO THEM BECAUSE THEY LIKED ME. Whatever, it was fun. I just hope you aren't going around telling people I'm uptight because I'm not. I'm just not a slut :)
9. I know there was one huge issue this winter that we had very very different views on. And it wouldn't have been such a big deal except I was being dramatic, and prissy, and pouty, and so I made it a big deal, and I'm sorry cause I know that it hurt your feelings. I'm glad we're still friends though. Sometimes I feel like if I didn't know you, I would be completely lost. Like sometimes I'll come up with completely stupid things to ask you or tell you because I don't feel like I know anyone else. Like during band or chorus or any rehearsals of any type. It's weird because we don't hang out [anymore :( ] outside of school, but at alot of places I just don't feel like talking to anybody else. Wow, that probably sounds lesbian-ish. I swear, I do not have lesbian feelings toward you. I will definitely miss you next year, and I hope I don't have to fill your shoes in band next year because I'm not sure I can do it.
10. I wasn't even going to put you on here but I couldn't decide on just one more friend to write about. The only time I ever think of you is wondering if I'm still on your buddy list. Isn't that crazy? Whenever I change my info I wonder if you read it and what you think of it. Cause really, you knew me before I was me... like, no ninth grader knows what kind of person they are, they just try to fit in. So now I wonder if you read my info and shit. That's all.
Okay, now try to guess! Some of them I don't know if I want to admit who they are cause well, one or two of them are kind of angry. We shall see, we shall see.
What if I start updating regularly? God that would be scary.
AHHHH NYC TOMORROW :) :):):):):):):) |
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| I AM UPDATING SO THIS MUST BE IMPORTANT |
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| 06:07pm 22/02/2005 |
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mood:  scared music: "Funky Square Dance" Phoenix
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I haven't updated in... how long? Man, I don't even know how to work this barely anymore.
So Roopa posted DON'T READ THIS. Of course, I wanted to.
I saw that there were 2 comments.
"Well, I can still read the comments."
Of course, I read the cut, too.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
DON'T CLICK ON THIS LINK.
I KNOW YOU WILL.
SO WHY DO I BOTHER?
SO I WON'T DIE.
( don't do it don't do it don't do it )
Shit, did that make you more curious? Sorry!
Why do I bother? Everyone on livejournal already read it, haha!
:( I almost miss livejournal.
NOT HAHA ;) |
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| I got |
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| 10:26am 27/08/2004 |
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1: Wind Ensemble
2: Pre-Calc Honors
3: Chamber Singers
4: Fall Study Hall/Spring Photography
5: Humanities
6: Humanities
7: Lab/Gym
8: Bio Honors
9: French 4 Honors |
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| There |
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| 12:28am 28/07/2004 |
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mood: You Decide music: "Golden Cities" Unwed Sailor
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There is a feeling that can't be described by one word alone. It's the feeling She gets when She stands outside and looks up at the stars and thinks of all the planets and galaxies and black holes and endless space going on for so long the human mind is incapable of imagining it. It gives Her such strong chills She goes inside and crawls under Her electric blanket and turns it all the way up even though it’s July and thinks of Her skin burning away and leaving Her as nothing more than yellowed, dried up bones beneath flannel snowman sheets. It's overwhelming insignificance. All it makes Her want is to have someone there. Not someone to need Her, not even someone to love Her, just someone There. Someone to smack or someone to hug tighter and tighter and tighter until Her arms feel like they'll break or someone to let Her complain about people complaining. Not someone to love, because She isn't sure if love exists to Her. Just someone to make her feel like she is not an indistinguishable speck under God's microscope. But no one is ever there except the doll She’s slept with since She was a baby. It is falling apart and dirty and She holds it as if there is a possibility it can make Her a bigger person but all that happens is the doll gets wet. This feeling scares the complete shit out of Her and yet it makes Her brave enough to face the world. It makes Her tough enough to convince Herself that She doesn't care when everyone around Her is bolding letters on their profiles and saying their first or seventh "I love you" and being giddy and working through lovers' problems, because Her time will come. That is what the feeling makes Her brave enough to say: Her time will come. Her dad told Her that he knew Her junior year will be a great one, just wait, just hold Her horses because it will be a great one, a fucking fabulous year. So when She gets this feeling, this hair-raising loneliness, She thinks about Her amazing future and Her braveness and when Her eyes clear She is left with nothing but Herself, this feeling, and a blank sheet of paper. |
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| Sigh. |
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| 11:12am 30/01/2004 |
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mood: bored music: tv
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Sigh. Sorry about the extreme bitchy factor of my last entry. I was freaking out, but then I got Mrs. Shaver's email and am okay now.
Maybe.
Anyway, my purpose for writing today is this test:
http://devel.okcupid.com/oktest?
It's hmm... really acurate. (Lydia - I think I got nearly the same results as you.)
The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf)
Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?
Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.
Your exact opposite:
Genghis Khunt
Random Brutal Sex Master
Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.
You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.
ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand, The False Messiah, The Hornivore, The Last Man on Earth
CONSIDER: The Loverboy
Oh, yes, I got the test from Lydia!
It's actually really accurate. Amazing. |
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| What. |
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| 11:08am 29/01/2004 |
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mood:  aggravated, crying and pissed music: Seventh Heaven
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What the fuck.
I can't fucking believe this. (And when I use fuck two times in two sentences, you know I'm mad.)
School cancelled? What the hell?! All I want is for the musical to be good.
And you know what? If people would freaking SHUT UP at rehearsal and say their lines loud enough for the front row to hear them, we might actually accomplish something. Imagine that.
The worst part might possibly be the complete and utter lack of caring. Seriously, over half the cast probably heard there was a snow day and said, "Yes! No rehearsal!" Well, kudos to you. It's people like you that make the musical so amazing.
Fuck this shit. |
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| Befo |
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| 09:15pm 21/01/2004 |
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mood:  Fuck You. music: "All By Myself"
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Before I Graduate HighSchool To-Do List
In order of importance:
1. Get in a true fist-fight, blood, black eyes, suspension... no hair pulling and/or chocolate milk dumping.
2. Run away, really run away, to somewhere far from this hell where I don't know anyone.
3. Be the best at something.
4. Be happy for at least one day.
5. Get my writing published.
6. Tell everyone what I really feel about them.
7. Lose my virginity. |
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| Okay |
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| 07:35pm 08/01/2004 |
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mood:  annoyed music: tv
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Okay, okay, don't shoot me. I know, "no more writing in here, blah, blah" but I had to.
( The Zagnarok Files ) |
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| 01:28am 28/12/2003 |
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mood: complacent music: "Pictures in an Exhibition" Death Cab for Cutie
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I don't think I'm going to write in here anymore. It's become pretty pointless, I guess.
Amanda's was fun.
sparkles 227: haha.
sparkles 227: oops, i did it again
sparkles 227: is stuck in my head
sparkles 227: hahahahhahHAHAH
sparkles 227: hahahaha
...If you were there, you'd understand. And then you'd laugh hysterically, because it was funny.
Listen, I don't know when we stopped being friends. When it got to the point where I didn't know what to say to you. All of the sudden I started reading things, and I got that feeling somewhere inside of me, my stomach or my heart, and I knew it was directed toward myself. Maybe it started when they left. Maybe the only thing holding us together was those boys, but God, I hope not. If that's all our relationship was to you, then I'm sorry, because I definitely thought we were closer than that. It's all a part of growing up, I suppose. Don't worry - I'll deal, just like I've dealt with other friends leaving me. Remember, though, that it wasn't me who broke it off.
I don't want to go to college. I want to go into the Peace Corps for the rest of my life. What's the sense of going to college when you know what you want to do, and it doesn't require education past high school? College seems like a waste of money, almost, to me right now. I don't want to get a high salary because I can convince a jury that a murderer is innocent, or because I'm an asshole superintendent of some small school district (nothing against our superintendent, seriously. It's just the first job that came to my head). I want to go out and help people make their lives worth living. I don't want to sit at home and write a check for $17 every month so some girl can have shoes - I want to go to her and her family, help them learn to farm, help them make something of themselves. There's a lot more people can do than open their wallets. And what better work could there possibly be? I can actually see myself with a husband and a little girl, traveling around the country, changing lives and teaching our daughter to love and to care.
Anyway, maybe I'll write in here someday again, later, when I'm unhappy in college or taking a break from South Africa and visiting my parents. Everyone have a good New Year and I <333 You.
(And don't worry - I'll still read and leave comments.) |
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| Note |
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| 11:45am 22/12/2003 |
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mood: aggravated
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Note to Self:
Buy gun.
Aim at head.
Pull the trigger. |
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| I bou |
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| 04:32pm 20/12/2003 |
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mood: happy music: "Route 101" Herb Alpert
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I bought the coolest black top and skirt today at the mall. The perfect New Years Eve outfit.
Now all I need is a party and a date, and I'm set. |
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| Soli |
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| 06:14pm 14/12/2003 |
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mood: Christmasy music: "The Christmas Song" Mel Torme (My Favorite!)
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Your soul is bound to the Solitary Rose: The
Alone.
"When I wake up alone, the shades are still
drawn on the cold window pane so they cast
their lines on my bed and lines on my
face."
The Solitary Rose is associated with loneliness,
melancholy, and patience. It is governed by
the goddess Merope and its sign is The Sword,
or Unrequited Love.
As a Solitary Rose, you may be summed up as a
hopeless romantic. You desire love and have so
much love to give, but thing just never seem to
work out the way you want them to. In life,
you can be very optomistic, even when things
are gray and nothing works out to your
expectations.
What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| Zagn |
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| 07:18pm 11/12/2003 |
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mood:  sick
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Zagnarok: hey wanna hear a joke my friend tiff told me ystrday?
tesssalina: sure
Zagnarok: knock knock
tesssalina: who's there
Zagnarok: little boy blue
tesssalina: little boy blue who?
Zagnarok: little boy blue michael jackson!
tesssalina: that's not really funny
Zagnarok: nothin i say is
Zagnarok: according to u
tesssalina: eh, c'est la vie
*sigh*
*gives up on people* |
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| 02:06pm 09/12/2003 |
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mood: contemplative music: Can't tell what song is on the radio...
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There's a lack of anything better to do in my study hall, so I got on a computer.
I've actually been thinking alot about putting things into perspective. A lot of times people tell you that you need to look at the bigger picture, but not everyones frame is the same size.
To someone who has lost a mother to cancer and a father to a car accident would be more apt to deal with seemingly lesser situations than someone who has never had anyone close to them die. I'm not saying that people who haven't had bad things happen to them shouldn't be compassionate, or shouldn't try to understand, or should do nothing but complain about things that don't seem important. Think about it, though; say Person One (to be referred to as P1) spent hours of her life working on a story, taking herself, her soul, and put it on paper. The worst thing that has ever happened to her is someone she loved didn't love her back and he left her. When she loses her notebook, the notebook with her in it, it seems to P1 almost catastrophic.
Now, let's take a look at Person Two (P2). She has also written a story, spent just as long as P1 did, put just as much of her inner self onto the paper. She too loses the notebook, but the difference is that P2 lives with her aunt because both of her parents got murdered.
Who do you think would be more able to deal with losing the notebook? Someone who has felt pain before, someone who has something worse to compare the hurt to.
So maybe next time you read or see or hear something and you think, "That's so stupid. When [fill in] happened to me, it was so much worse," stop there. And don't judge the person and their thoughts, because everyone sees a slightly different tv screen. Our lives are different shapes and our reactions different colors.
Just a little of my rambling. If you want to get mad about this, fine, but please don't leave me comments about it. I don't want to hear it. |
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| 07:13pm 06/12/2003 |
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mood: Excited - I have plans! music: Faint music that Adam's playing. Don't know who it's by.
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Found this, and had to update again:
_______________________________________________________________________
MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
_______________________________________________________________________
That is so much like me. It's kind of crazy. ( Find your month here. )
I love those kind of things. You know, horoscopes and such. |
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tess03's journal